From here I see that my salvation is in running. In running I will be God, a man fully functioning. It is an incentive for me to quit smoking. Running and smoking don't mix. Hence I decided to be a runner for life. How I wish I could keep on running indefinitely. When I run I enter a special place. A kingdom within my mind where I can retreat in peace. At the surface level, I am actually influenced by the feel-good chemicals. However, I look at it as the effect, not the cause. The causal effect of the state of happiness is the body operating in a peak state. That is what I said God is a Man Fully Functioning, a runner. We need to move. Only then we are autonomically functional as a man. Running is what our body is designed to do. That is why besides, horses, hyenas, and dogs, men are the only creatures that can go a very long distance at a go. God is a runner, I discovered.
I want to run because I am a god. If I don't run, I am shortchanging myself. What's the point of the femur if I don't run? Anatomically I am a runner by design. When I run, I am in my own world. I became an observer. By paying attention to the rhythm of my breath, I can put my body on autopilot and wander into the landscape of my mind. It becomes active meditation for me. At that time I am a Wandering Sufi and a Zen Monk. My senses are heightened by the neurotransmitters. I am a man on a mission once again. For that duration, I am God to my Universe.
My only wish now is for me to be able to keep on running until the end of my breath. It is a real challenge. After three years of cessation, I have to start from the ground [] (level) in quitting cigarettes. My aging body is resisting the stress impounded on my knees especially. The worst is the Dark Depression. The FUD... These are the enemies of the state for me. I am here to delight my Universe Within. I want it all and I want it now!
Come what may, I will not quit in this endeavor. It was not a smooth start. The most important aspect is to maintain a positive outlook. I lose that, I lose my sense of purpose. I realized that last night. I had a panic attack and felt that I was a worthless bum. True enough, FUD came into view and downplayed the notion that I am the Benevolent God of Sparta 4964. I almost quit all digital interfacing today because of that. Luckily I rebounded today. So I am back to being the Benevolent God tha[n] (that) I am again.
This journey is not only meant for me. I have my teams who are hopeful for my success. If I make it, so will they. It is a Hologram Effect. I cannot fail. That is not an option. I have to run, run, run, and run if I am to claim my seat as God, a man fully functioning; a runner. Talk is cheap. I need to overcome my own demons to rise above my own shortcomings. My biggest enemy is me. I cannot be denied. I was born to win, literally. They are watching; the general population that is. Is he for real or is he a fluke? What do you think? Am I the right man for the job?
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