I drank Ribena, I ate bread with jam, I threw away the lithium and I skipped exercise altogether. Today, I want to live without conditions. I want to free flow for the rest of the day.
I even had my first Nicorette at 4:00 am. I want to experiment with a hedonistic life. Do I like it? So far so good. There is no remorse.
Living without responsibility turned out to be a very selfish life indeed. You simply detach from the consequences of your actions and start freewheeling. I need this. Last night my sleep was interrupted. I was shivering cold and I woke up at 1:30 am. I thought I was going to have a fever.
This morning I am feeling a bit down. That is why I loaded myself with sugar. Living with a mental illness is very challenging. The mood fluctuates. Sometimes I feel like I am a drunk. The peaks and valleys are rampant.
Here I am pursuing the short-term pleasures. I did all the pleasant things. The highlight of my pleasure is the Nicorette. I was so relaxed after I took it. The idea is not to surpass the bliss point. So I cannot overindulge with the good things.
This is life in the White Space. No hurry worry mindset. All are blissful. I totally avoid the pain. Simply live and let live without consequences and remorse. What can go wrong?
mm
No comments:
Post a Comment